guilty pleasure

I have restricted access to the internet at the moment.

It feels strange when I look in my reader and see so much happens in such a short amount of time. 

To alice @ i'm confused - I am hoping your neck is improving.

If I am not commenting on a blog which normally I do - its because I need a new laptop & rely at present on daughter's who is working extremely hard for uni.  I am so very very proud of her, EDS for her is much worse than mine at the same age.  I feel helpless when she suffers so much pain - she says the only person she can really talk to about it is me as she knows I understand.  I do and because of this some days I feel angry toward some people in our lives who seem to make a very good job of denial of this debilitating and very real condition.  It must seem on reading this blog that it is the whole focus in our lives - this is not true.  I write of it here as an outlet.  We send each other texts some of which go like this -

how is your day?

EDS crap?

take your time, I understand.

               These can be from either of us - the same applies.

In the meantime -

   I am thinking thoughts like this - my godaughter is presently very very unhappy with good reason.  When one signs up for the responsibility of the role - it is impossible to imagine that a parent would die.  This happened when she was four years old now 24..   After a long talk with my conscience I decided that in the abscence of one parent I had to speak out.    I wish with all my heart that I could turn back time.  I can't.  I am not particularly religious - I did make a promise and will keep it.  I just wish the other two godparents had kept theirs - we could share the task.  This godaughter of mine whom I held in my arms when she was under an hour old, holds a place in my heart forever.  So if you are asked to be a godparent - make sure if required you can do more than send a birthday card. 

Having being unwell for a ridiculously long time I am beginning to unwrap myself from the cocoon.  I find myself in the most untidy house I have had in a very long time. I am noticing I am pacing better than I did as more than a little overdoing renders me useless to all.  I have moved on from soup soup soup to advocado - a positive step forward.  Figs seemed tasty today, husband smiled as I carefully wrapped some parma ham around three ate two, moved on to a warming mug of ovaltine and without realising it ate three fig roll biscuits.  I wonder what these cravings say about what my body needs right now.  I know I am feeling better as silly things are making me laugh again.  Especially as I have just read that paragraph through and wondered if my craving for figs suggests constipation - at the minute this is not the case but cannot remember what vitamins are in figs - parma ham I have no doubt is just salt!

Next week return to gp for results of blood tests which were taken by the trusted phlebotomist (sp) at surgery who uses paediatric needles and is the only person who doesn't leave me battered and bruised.  The sticky pads used for the heart trace however left squarish red marks dotted all over which are still there.   I actually think that when I return next week all will be well with all of the results.  EDS patients can present as extremely poorly when their immune system has taken a battering and gp's not familiar with the condition may panic a little.  Reminding me of a well known character's words, in an old sitcom (truly showing my age) called Dad's Army, a  series following the antics of the Home Front. 

                    'Don't panic Mr Mannering, don't panic'

To those whose blogs I read that may need a virtual hand to hold - mine is there.  If you have a tale to tell - I will read it.   I will smile at your anecdotes.  Try your recipes.  I will feel genuinely happy when you are happy and the rest.  In return I only ask that you keep on blogging.  So that when I manage to get on line - my reader is full to bursting. 

Blogging is my guilty pleasure - Whats yours?