Sunday, 30 August 2009
Thursday, 20 August 2009
The Internet Bully & A Request
(edited to add a request - could we all post at some point about Internet Bullies, pehaps some sort of public ousting would make them realise they are dispicable little people - In all honesty I am so pissed off about them that I think there should be a world anti-internet bully awareness week arghhhhhh)
Ok I am fed up of reading on other people's blogs that they are receiving comments which include, hurtful or filthy or negative statements. Who are the sad people who get some sort of warped pleasure from offending and upsetting thoroughly nice and genuine people.
There is a difference between an opinion and writing hurtful potentially slanderous comments. Or making childish pornographic references in response to a genuine post that are frankly unnecessary and offensive.
To me it is the equivalent of the worst kind of bullying, a faceless bully is the worst kind. Do they get some kind of pleasure out of this morally questionable behaviour. I don't care about the Internet bully at all, I don't care that they may have sad little lives with nothing better to do than trawl the net picking on completely genuine human beings.
I care about the human beings they pick on. I haven't in honesty read the comments to which the blogging community are referring - they have had to go to the trouble of reading this purile rubbish, deal with the emotional fallout and possibly wonder if they should apply comment moderation.
If all the blogs I read end up through necessity applying comment moderation it would be a sad day indeed. It would take out the spontaneity and real time beauty of the blogging world to which I am fairly new.
But I know this - if you are reading this and troll forums intentionally 'flaming' or comment on blogs with the intent to hurt, abuse or upset, ask yourself why you are doing it, what is your motivation, does it make you a better person, look to your conscience closely and if your conscience is clear then you blatantly need professional help.
I feel in a way that giving the time of day posting about the Internet bully is a little wrong perhaps because that is something they obviously want - attention. But do you know what I mentioned in another post latterly I can't abide a liar, I also cannot abide a BULLY.
I hope that someone is able to report the Internet bully to their service provider and get their accounts suspended. No doubt they could still go to the local library or Internet cafe but it would make it harder for them.
I know its not a perfect world but when plain nastiness pops up in my front room and stares me in the face via my computer screen I just wonder what has happened to mankind. I still believe that in the end there are more good people in the world than bad and that helps (I am not perfect at all and I don't think I would like to be either) but I just wish shitty nasty bullies would go make a blogging community for themselves where they could have a jolly old time to themselves being complete arseholes. I am sure there is a club or Internet forum for all sorts of stuff that I don't want anything to do with, that I find offensive etc. so go there comment bullies and leave the 'good' people alone - please.
I don't get many comments on the whole and the one's I do get I appreciate so much. I don't expect anyone to agree ever with anything I say and truly wouldn't be offended by any comment which said so. In 'real life' its good to talk but friend's talk and if they disagree even over a glass of wine, beer whatever they can generally agree to disagree, learn from the debate, respect an opinion but rarely would a good friend intentionally upset, berate or just behave like a complete shit. So to the internet bully or troll - I say this: Leave the decent bloggers alone, you are not welcome in a community which generally tries to support, understand and offer the hand of friendship.
Ok I am fed up of reading on other people's blogs that they are receiving comments which include, hurtful or filthy or negative statements. Who are the sad people who get some sort of warped pleasure from offending and upsetting thoroughly nice and genuine people.
There is a difference between an opinion and writing hurtful potentially slanderous comments. Or making childish pornographic references in response to a genuine post that are frankly unnecessary and offensive.
To me it is the equivalent of the worst kind of bullying, a faceless bully is the worst kind. Do they get some kind of pleasure out of this morally questionable behaviour. I don't care about the Internet bully at all, I don't care that they may have sad little lives with nothing better to do than trawl the net picking on completely genuine human beings.
I care about the human beings they pick on. I haven't in honesty read the comments to which the blogging community are referring - they have had to go to the trouble of reading this purile rubbish, deal with the emotional fallout and possibly wonder if they should apply comment moderation.
If all the blogs I read end up through necessity applying comment moderation it would be a sad day indeed. It would take out the spontaneity and real time beauty of the blogging world to which I am fairly new.
But I know this - if you are reading this and troll forums intentionally 'flaming' or comment on blogs with the intent to hurt, abuse or upset, ask yourself why you are doing it, what is your motivation, does it make you a better person, look to your conscience closely and if your conscience is clear then you blatantly need professional help.
I feel in a way that giving the time of day posting about the Internet bully is a little wrong perhaps because that is something they obviously want - attention. But do you know what I mentioned in another post latterly I can't abide a liar, I also cannot abide a BULLY.
I hope that someone is able to report the Internet bully to their service provider and get their accounts suspended. No doubt they could still go to the local library or Internet cafe but it would make it harder for them.
I know its not a perfect world but when plain nastiness pops up in my front room and stares me in the face via my computer screen I just wonder what has happened to mankind. I still believe that in the end there are more good people in the world than bad and that helps (I am not perfect at all and I don't think I would like to be either) but I just wish shitty nasty bullies would go make a blogging community for themselves where they could have a jolly old time to themselves being complete arseholes. I am sure there is a club or Internet forum for all sorts of stuff that I don't want anything to do with, that I find offensive etc. so go there comment bullies and leave the 'good' people alone - please.
I don't get many comments on the whole and the one's I do get I appreciate so much. I don't expect anyone to agree ever with anything I say and truly wouldn't be offended by any comment which said so. In 'real life' its good to talk but friend's talk and if they disagree even over a glass of wine, beer whatever they can generally agree to disagree, learn from the debate, respect an opinion but rarely would a good friend intentionally upset, berate or just behave like a complete shit. So to the internet bully or troll - I say this: Leave the decent bloggers alone, you are not welcome in a community which generally tries to support, understand and offer the hand of friendship.
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Shit Happens
The past week has been diabolical frankly -
To Accident & Emergency at local hospital - thank you for being so kind, understanding and genuinely empathetic when I was in so much pain. No thanks to the receptionist at the doctors who said there were no appointments and a doctor would call me back if they could.
It is a surprise to me that severe pain can mimic apparently a heart attack, stroke, collapsed lung or DVT. If I could have spoken I would have let Registrar know that I didn't think any of the above were applicable. I had taken as much pain relief as is allowed by pain team and frankly could not stand the pain. Apparently severe pain can mean that you can't breathe. This was no panic attack. This was hectic. Being used to severe pain this one ranked 9/10 on the pain scales.
I don't cry ever with pain and this time I did, all night.... despite a combination of medications that would have had an elephant comatose. I contemplated calling an ambulance as I rocked and writhed and cried some more. This is not me, I manage my pain, I have been on a six week course to teach me how afterall. I have had years of experience, multi-disciplinary approaches to pain management incorporating pacing, relaxation etc..
On arrival at the hospital I bypassed the queues - the home made bandaged bloodied fingered, the swollen & painful broken ankles of the builders and footballers. The loud drunk in the corner whose rude interjections interrupted my daughter's quick synopsis of my medical predicament. I was whisked poste haste to the curtained cubicle to await my fate. I had had the forsight to take my repeat prescription green form as from previous experience the cocktail of meds I take has previously meant on the VERY few occasions I do go to hospital, that the attending doctor/consultant who has no knowledge of Ehlers Danlos immediately assumes I am a drug addict simply 'acting up'.
All appropriate medical tests later ruling out all above serious conditions and a quick heart trace, the most serene of registrars held my hand and explained that they felt that I had severely dislocated my shoulder/ribs/elbow/hips etc in my sleep probably the night before last but due to-the fact that I slide in and out at will with multi-directional instability I was suffering the after effect and my body had basically gone into shock resulting in such massive pain.
I am sure she said more - something about asking for an urgent referral to my rheumatologist, to assess also my worsening arthritis, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis bla bla and the drug i have just been given for the post herpatic neuraligia would gradually get into my system and start to help. She had gone to the trouble to read my notes and see that orthopedics have refused to do surgery because of the complexity of my EDS and said that she genuinely wished she could help and was so so sorry that her examinations had caused me any further pain.
I will never forget the look in her eyes of genuine pity. I am still not entirely sure I got the gist of what happened fully and may have missed out a salient point which would make the above list of predicaments make a little more sense. I was extremely sedated and in pain. She suggested along with all my other meds I doubled the oramorph and rode the storm.
So having ridden the storm I have come out the other side, with a family shaken by the worst 'flare' I have ever had. A dog who lovingly places his head gently agaisnt me as if to say 'tell me if it hurts' and I'll move.
Today I ventured out of the house with daughter to go see a car as mine is needing car heaven. I had thought all was going well until this happened -
left showroom in daughter's car -
she drove along the road -
went to a shop -
got out of car -
noticed I did not have the folder that I entered the car showroom with, this contained every important f======g document (s) I require that is (are) car related. (apologies for grammar lapse my brain is strained) Very distressed went back to showroom - car cleaner said he had noticed a folder on top of daughters car but as we were chatting thought when we got in car we would put it in said car.
I DID NOT DO THIS.
So I have been to the Police Station and reported lost/stolen every f -----ing document I need RIGHT NOW. To replace will take time and money and I am also suffering chronically from severe embarrassment for being such a complete nerd.
This week has been complete shit frankly. I am feeling completely and utterly sorry for myself and I am not going to apologise for it or pretend that life is better if I have a half glass full philosophy -
Tomorrow I guess is another day where I will emotionally, physically pull myself together but right now I am off to eat chocolate.
To Accident & Emergency at local hospital - thank you for being so kind, understanding and genuinely empathetic when I was in so much pain. No thanks to the receptionist at the doctors who said there were no appointments and a doctor would call me back if they could.
It is a surprise to me that severe pain can mimic apparently a heart attack, stroke, collapsed lung or DVT. If I could have spoken I would have let Registrar know that I didn't think any of the above were applicable. I had taken as much pain relief as is allowed by pain team and frankly could not stand the pain. Apparently severe pain can mean that you can't breathe. This was no panic attack. This was hectic. Being used to severe pain this one ranked 9/10 on the pain scales.
I don't cry ever with pain and this time I did, all night.... despite a combination of medications that would have had an elephant comatose. I contemplated calling an ambulance as I rocked and writhed and cried some more. This is not me, I manage my pain, I have been on a six week course to teach me how afterall. I have had years of experience, multi-disciplinary approaches to pain management incorporating pacing, relaxation etc..
On arrival at the hospital I bypassed the queues - the home made bandaged bloodied fingered, the swollen & painful broken ankles of the builders and footballers. The loud drunk in the corner whose rude interjections interrupted my daughter's quick synopsis of my medical predicament. I was whisked poste haste to the curtained cubicle to await my fate. I had had the forsight to take my repeat prescription green form as from previous experience the cocktail of meds I take has previously meant on the VERY few occasions I do go to hospital, that the attending doctor/consultant who has no knowledge of Ehlers Danlos immediately assumes I am a drug addict simply 'acting up'.
All appropriate medical tests later ruling out all above serious conditions and a quick heart trace, the most serene of registrars held my hand and explained that they felt that I had severely dislocated my shoulder/ribs/elbow/hips etc in my sleep probably the night before last but due to-the fact that I slide in and out at will with multi-directional instability I was suffering the after effect and my body had basically gone into shock resulting in such massive pain.
I am sure she said more - something about asking for an urgent referral to my rheumatologist, to assess also my worsening arthritis, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis bla bla and the drug i have just been given for the post herpatic neuraligia would gradually get into my system and start to help. She had gone to the trouble to read my notes and see that orthopedics have refused to do surgery because of the complexity of my EDS and said that she genuinely wished she could help and was so so sorry that her examinations had caused me any further pain.
I will never forget the look in her eyes of genuine pity. I am still not entirely sure I got the gist of what happened fully and may have missed out a salient point which would make the above list of predicaments make a little more sense. I was extremely sedated and in pain. She suggested along with all my other meds I doubled the oramorph and rode the storm.
So having ridden the storm I have come out the other side, with a family shaken by the worst 'flare' I have ever had. A dog who lovingly places his head gently agaisnt me as if to say 'tell me if it hurts' and I'll move.
Today I ventured out of the house with daughter to go see a car as mine is needing car heaven. I had thought all was going well until this happened -
left showroom in daughter's car -
she drove along the road -
went to a shop -
got out of car -
noticed I did not have the folder that I entered the car showroom with, this contained every important f======g document (s) I require that is (are) car related. (apologies for grammar lapse my brain is strained) Very distressed went back to showroom - car cleaner said he had noticed a folder on top of daughters car but as we were chatting thought when we got in car we would put it in said car.
I DID NOT DO THIS.
So I have been to the Police Station and reported lost/stolen every f -----ing document I need RIGHT NOW. To replace will take time and money and I am also suffering chronically from severe embarrassment for being such a complete nerd.
This week has been complete shit frankly. I am feeling completely and utterly sorry for myself and I am not going to apologise for it or pretend that life is better if I have a half glass full philosophy -
Tomorrow I guess is another day where I will emotionally, physically pull myself together but right now I am off to eat chocolate.
Saturday, 1 August 2009
Verity & Probity
Being fairly new to the world of blogging I sometimes come across a new blog and wonder about the person behind the words. I suppose that's why I prefer to stick somewhat within my comfort zone. I am happy to have in my reader, those with a link to EDS & knitting and because I understand their need for anonymity a blogging doctor or associated professional.
I am however cautious about commenting and it takes me absolutely ages to make the first one on a blog new to me. Don't get me wrong, I do not spend hours on the Internet trawling blogs but for someone who like me who is often in pain it does serve as a welcome distraction. I find holding a book hard due to my bendy hands and where I used to be a prolific reader, I need to limit by way of boring sensible pacing for pain management, the amount of time I actually hold a book to read it. I know there are book holders etc. but I am clumsy by nature ..... bla bla. So before I go off on a tangent about book holders and the fact that there are very expensive ones out there that I could buy I will leave that explanation right there.
So when I comment on a blog I love it when it says 'comments are welcomed' it makes me feel more secure about the whole thing. I am learning something though about myself and that is this. I obviously am not as secure in myself as I had thought I was because when I do comment I sometimes wonder whether I should or not. Does the author thinks oh shit its that bloodyAchelois again commenting on my blog. So because I obviously suffer from minor anxiety related to commenting if I find myself in the slightest bit concerned that the author may think this I am going to read and not comment. I have realised that partly its the way I was brought up by that I feel obliged to comment - manners.
I guess I feel that its a bit rude really to lurk around reading a blog and not eventually introduce myself! Once I have done that I feel better. Latterly on a blog I comment on about three times a month or less I found myself wondering about the fact that the author never ever comments anymore or seems to have any interaction with me at all. So I have decided to stop commenting on that blog. This brings forth a dilemma for me because of the manners thing, I feel I should therefore stop reading the blog.
I am a fairly ordinary middle aged woman and honestly I am not that neurotic, my mind has just been meandering around the whole blog etiquette scenario and I realise that I know nothing about it, so if I make faux pas (sp) with commenting it is my social naivety that is at fault I guess. I have also worked out that I fully expect the author to be trustworthy! An attribute which is another example of my crass elementary knowledge of blogging generally.
I have wondered whether there is a book about blogging and etiquette/rules and realised that I would feel a bit sad to buy it. So like a teenager at their first proper party, blushing and fretting and shuffling from one foot to the next, hands in pockets or conversely drinking that bit too much and being a bit loud and in your face, I am sure I am making frequent mistakes in the world of blogging, which is so new to me.
On the trust issues I guess I have to go with my instincts - by nature I am fairly private so do not put my real name in my blog, not because I have anything to hide to be frank more because I am aware that not all people on the wibbly wobbly web are entirely trustworthy. So if I do comment on a blog its because I feel an element of trust with the author. I guess what I look for is integrity through the written word and if I feel that is there I feel more confident to comment occasionally!
Whats that's song? 'its my party and I'll cry if I want to' (not a favourite of mine actually just trying to find an analogy and at the same time showing my age) Its my blog, and I have just worked out I don't need permission to write about anything at all, I can write pretty much what I like. Obviously including my personal ethos in life if that is the right word, as long as I act with verity and probity......
(By the way 'comments are welcomed' I just haven't quite worked out yet how to have that permanently on the blog along with how to post links properly)
So there we the truth is out. I guess if you have read this far you will have worked out, I really really don't like a liar. So if I have plucked up the courage to comment it means I am doing the trust thing to an extent. Its worth googling trust quotes there are some thought provoking ones I think.
I am however cautious about commenting and it takes me absolutely ages to make the first one on a blog new to me. Don't get me wrong, I do not spend hours on the Internet trawling blogs but for someone who like me who is often in pain it does serve as a welcome distraction. I find holding a book hard due to my bendy hands and where I used to be a prolific reader, I need to limit by way of boring sensible pacing for pain management, the amount of time I actually hold a book to read it. I know there are book holders etc. but I am clumsy by nature ..... bla bla. So before I go off on a tangent about book holders and the fact that there are very expensive ones out there that I could buy I will leave that explanation right there.
So when I comment on a blog I love it when it says 'comments are welcomed' it makes me feel more secure about the whole thing. I am learning something though about myself and that is this. I obviously am not as secure in myself as I had thought I was because when I do comment I sometimes wonder whether I should or not. Does the author thinks oh shit its that bloodyAchelois again commenting on my blog. So because I obviously suffer from minor anxiety related to commenting if I find myself in the slightest bit concerned that the author may think this I am going to read and not comment. I have realised that partly its the way I was brought up by that I feel obliged to comment - manners.
I guess I feel that its a bit rude really to lurk around reading a blog and not eventually introduce myself! Once I have done that I feel better. Latterly on a blog I comment on about three times a month or less I found myself wondering about the fact that the author never ever comments anymore or seems to have any interaction with me at all. So I have decided to stop commenting on that blog. This brings forth a dilemma for me because of the manners thing, I feel I should therefore stop reading the blog.
I am a fairly ordinary middle aged woman and honestly I am not that neurotic, my mind has just been meandering around the whole blog etiquette scenario and I realise that I know nothing about it, so if I make faux pas (sp) with commenting it is my social naivety that is at fault I guess. I have also worked out that I fully expect the author to be trustworthy! An attribute which is another example of my crass elementary knowledge of blogging generally.
I have wondered whether there is a book about blogging and etiquette/rules and realised that I would feel a bit sad to buy it. So like a teenager at their first proper party, blushing and fretting and shuffling from one foot to the next, hands in pockets or conversely drinking that bit too much and being a bit loud and in your face, I am sure I am making frequent mistakes in the world of blogging, which is so new to me.
On the trust issues I guess I have to go with my instincts - by nature I am fairly private so do not put my real name in my blog, not because I have anything to hide to be frank more because I am aware that not all people on the wibbly wobbly web are entirely trustworthy. So if I do comment on a blog its because I feel an element of trust with the author. I guess what I look for is integrity through the written word and if I feel that is there I feel more confident to comment occasionally!
Whats that's song? 'its my party and I'll cry if I want to' (not a favourite of mine actually just trying to find an analogy and at the same time showing my age) Its my blog, and I have just worked out I don't need permission to write about anything at all, I can write pretty much what I like. Obviously including my personal ethos in life if that is the right word, as long as I act with verity and probity......
(By the way 'comments are welcomed' I just haven't quite worked out yet how to have that permanently on the blog along with how to post links properly)
So there we the truth is out. I guess if you have read this far you will have worked out, I really really don't like a liar. So if I have plucked up the courage to comment it means I am doing the trust thing to an extent. Its worth googling trust quotes there are some thought provoking ones I think.
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