Happy.....

I mucked around with my design and it all went wrong.  I need to address this as all my lovely bloggy people are miles away at the bottom of the blog.  Please bear with me.

This weekend we stayed here  newick park country house hotel   Oh my word, we did posh with a capital P.  A family do from OH's side.  The reason, was that my mother in law, lived nearby as child her father, was a farmer.  She would play here as a relative was housekeeper (I think) and would run through the rooms filling this wonderful place with innocent laughter.  Her father, had one arm shot off in the war, he had terrible mustard burns and was often in pain.  He designed and made the only pheasant plucking machine designed for someone with one arm.  He continued to farm despite his terrible injuries.  We all met up from various parts of the UK to celebrate life.

Without I think letting the blogosphere know too much personal information without permission.  This event was supposed to take place in three years time.  When sisters were to be respectively 80, 70 and 60.  Due to secondary bowel cancer taking hold of the eldest the party was brought forward.  Boy did we party in style.  For once in my life I put on a dress, co-ordinated my accessories and looked like a proper grown up.  I cannot wear heels but will take a picture of the purple ballet type shoes I wore when I can.  I was nervous before I went the whole anticipatory anxiety filling my mind.

However, the experience was simply fantastic.  The food sublime.  Admittedly I did not drink in the vast amounts that others did.  I indulged however toward the end of the evening in my very favourite drink, for a special occasion (apart from champagne obviously) Amaretto.  My senses exploded.  The velvet caress of the amber liquid mixed with ice better dare I say than sex.  Not that I don't enjoy sex but Amaretto put simply provides the pleasure without any effort involved at all.  I sipped, because I didn't want to miss a moment.  Perhaps I went to places in my mind brought on by a memory from childhood.

As a child we were popped into the family car in the summer holidays, and taken to Europe.  One time, as usual I was sleeping on the back seat.  (I am so old now that seat belts really weren't required) So sleeping soundly prostrate across the back seat of our Citroen estate, a small child who would lie happily for hours with my feet against my sister who would be shoved into the corner with a scowl whilst I would wriggle a little to get more comfy.  In this position travelling by night, we would power through Europe to reach Tuscany.  One such night, chaos erupted.  A car in front, slammed on its brakes and we hit it.  Multiple items flew from the rear of the vast boot of the car and flew around the car.  I was knocked out by a missile it seemed which turned out to be a bottle of Amaretto. 

No one was hurt enough fortunately for ambulances.  I was taken gently by a random, French farmers wife.  Into a kitchen where amongst much making of strong coffee and the most delicious olives, ever I was administered by way of treatment for shock.  Sips of said Amaretto.  An hour or so later, when my mother who speaks fluent french had indulged her penchant for interaction with random foreign strangers and my father had re-packed the boot of the car.  Ensuring all items that could fly in a crash were placed carefully amongst beach towels.  We continued our journey.  As a nine year old I was placed back in the car.  My thumping head no problem.  I remember gazing at stars as we continued our journey, wondering perhaps if I was in heaven.  The reality was I was a drunk, concussed, nine year old.  Sipping on Amaretto which I do do, about once a year takes me back to heaven.

Staying in a Country House Hotel, when ones everyday life in direct comparison is the opposite experience.  Is a treat.  A taster of how the rich live.  In our room in the afternoon, I was thankful.  Reminded that life generally for me is very much the same each day.  I lounged in a soft robe, lit expensive candles as I bathed in complimentary products which are generally in Department stores that I cannot afford to frequent.  I played make believe I am rich.  In the lounge bar for pre-dinner drinks, the feeling of being part of a loving family was incredible.  We laughed and were waited on by supremely understated polite staff.  I cannot bear the type of place that turns 'can I get you a drink Madam' into an ingratiating form of sarcasm.  There was a family feeling amongst the staff also which meant I genuinely felt that they cared that our experience was as perfect as it could be.

We went into dinner where we ate food that melted into the mouth.  Presentation of which, was like a thoughtful lover (I wish) tantalising subtle.  A visual foreplay.  The graciously subtle lighting played on faces making men look better looking and women beautiful.  All was wonderful.  I did have a moment when I thought perhaps the paramedics should be called as I need to concentrate when eating to avoid choking. (EDS always lurks somewhere) Whilst savouring my last but one mouthful of rhubarb compote?  I felt that familiar feeling of impending choke.  Stuck in the back of my throat was a shard of wafer thin toffee? *There is a culinary term for this tasty morsel which has slipped my mind.  I began to panic.  My eyes scanning the room for my husband who had he not been engrossed in conversation with an elderly aunt would immediately have come to my aid.  Still I could not take a breath, knowing that should I do so, choking big time would have ensued.  Other diners would have had their sublime dining experience rudely interuppted by the choking ehlers danlos woman.

After what seemed like hours which in fact were seconds in retrospect, a waiter appeared at my side, and gently whispered in my ear.  'Madam. an ice cube'  On a small subtle bone china dishlet, was a single ice cube.  He gestured by way of a nod that I should pop the ice cube into my mouth.  I instantly forgot that ice cubes and my sensitive teeth are not an option the alternative would have been a public demise.  I took his advice and popped the ice cube into my mouth, a little bit of me worrying that I would choke also on that.  As the ice met the fire in my throat, the incident passed as fast as it started.  I thanked the waiter who smiled gently and nodded by way of affirmation that he acknowledged my plight and understood the potential embarrassment. 

Moving on we retired, to the lounge bar.  Unrushed. Where we all sat together, listening to the elder members reminiscing, privileged to share lives soon to be pasts forgotten in time. 

I woke, in the tidiest bedroom ever, brought defac coffee by my OH.  I lay in bed, savouring the moment.

On returning home, we opened the door.  The animals rushing to us as though we had been gone, for a year.  It was 2pm.  The lounge was littered with cold takeaway, my 'adult' children had taken full advantage of our absence and chilled out.  Both were asleep upstairs.  Oblivious to us and our return.  I wanted to be angry I really really did but I couldn't be.  Wanting the calm to continue in my mind, husband and I turned tail and fled.  To the local pub where I drank fresh apple juice and ate simply super watercress soup.  We languished a while sharing the silence together whilst reading the weekend papers.  The thing I love about having been with the same man for so many many years is that our silence together in moments like these is comfortable.

We returned home, husband of mine recognised my spoons had turned to forks and I needed to rest.  I went to my bed.  Admittedly not so opulent from whence we had come but as I slipped under the duvet nearly asleep already. I realised it is good to go away but it is so much better coming home.  Waking four hours later, kitchen clean, lounge normal cluttered space but no more takeaway evidence.   I felt so happy.  Yes I had to take optimum pain relief because with Ehlers Danlos pleasure is naturally entwined with pain.  I looked around my home and my heart was happy.

I hope today, your heart is happy too.

nb I would like to say, that there were many moments this weekend where I felt humbled.   Humbled that my mother in law who is riddled with cancer, was so very gracious.  Some women have a complex relationship with their mother-in-laws, but I am blessed to have been welcomed into a family that have only ever shown me compassion, love and fun.  I know this blog is annonymous but to let you bloggy people that I have participated this weekend in a family event that embraced the very essence of which if it could be turned into a perfume would adorne women around the world. A treasured scent. 

I popped this post into drafts whilst I had a bit of a battle with the old EDS.  How very dare I go and have fun.  But I did EDS and do you know what I intend to do it again and bugger the consequences.  I shall just have to plan the time in bed afterward by way efficient multi disciplinary approach to pain management.  So bah hoo to you EDS.