Recently in the News there has been much coverage of the bullying that occurs amongst the youth in our society, children as young as 5 it seems have been affected by a trend it seems to me that has been learnt from adults perhaps?
When my children were young we had a computer in the living room and their internet access was supervised. We didn't have and still don't have despite the fact that they have computers now in their bedrooms (aged 17 and 19) webcams. Luckily mobile phones were not so common either. We had age appropriate blocks on the internet and also the facility that should I not notice that they had been online for over a certain period of time that was also monitored.
When they went through the phase of MSN chat before it became apparent that it could be a dark and dangerous place to allow children to 'play' I was in the room and although this may sound as though I was draconian in my parenting I just wouldn't allow foul language or innapropriate use. It seems to me it is the duty of a parent to put appropriate safeguarding around the use of the internet so that they are not subject to the cyber bully or worse.
I honestly don't feel its the duty of the state or a teacher/school. Am I in the minority here?
Am I middle aged and out of touch?
Do we need to look at ourselves as our daily lives are more and more intertwined with web based communications.
I wouldn't have thought years ago that I would write a blog.
I am amazed at the facilities available on mobile phones now.
I look back at my youth and am beginning to think it was less stressful. In order to arrange a 'date' one had to either pick up the phone and possibly speak to a parent 'politely' to ask to speak to one's love or dare I say knock on the door and have a proper conversation with a parent. Telephone's were attached to the wall often in the living room so innapropriate use was difficult and their use back in the day was quite expensive so conversations did not last very long. Now our teenagers are communicating incessantly in a private cyber world or mobile phone txt spk.
Perhaps we should be setting an example and before we hit publish or post in a comment when we have a strong opinion we should wait a while and ask ourselves if it would be possible to air a view with dignity. Don't get me wrong I am not a middle aged prude, I just wonder how all this is to progress. The next generation of children will no doubt be communicating with even more advanced facilities. My grandson can navigate his way around a keyboard aged 6 with remarkable dexterity. As he says - we have them in school its easy.
I think the BBC article linked below has some good points. I do wonder though if living in the world today is more stressful than it should be. I love blogging and have been fortunate in my experience. More and more though I find myself drawn to blogs that aren't too vitriolic as really I am a simple soul preferring the more mundane things in life. If that makes me boring so be it. My absolute favourite blog at the moment is frogpondsrock. It invites the reader to think about issues in a dignified way providing food for thought without being 'in your face'.
Perhaps the media is at fault also. When private lives are splattered all over front pages and everyone seems to have an opinion on marriages that really are nothing to do with us. Our Prime Minister it seems is being accused of bullying, whether he is or isn't is for others to decide. I just wonder whether these days its too easy to point the finger.
I have one exception to this which you may know and that is the managers who make decisions in our PCT's. In my humble opinion they have become bullies, particularly to gp's, consultants and dare I say patients. They have become the equivalent of the cyber bully. Decisions made by faceless pen pushers so far detached from reality they have forgotten basic moral codes of decency. In saying that I am only too aware that it is easy to tar all with the same brush, I am sure sitting behind a desk somewhere there is a human being considering changing profession because they simply cannot bear to carry on the antics akin to animal farm.
Harsh words I write again so am I the same? So I have made a pact with myself, when I am upset or angry I will hit save now instead of publish. I will wait, imagining myself buying a stamp and walking to the post box. Giving myself time before I hit publish to question again my verity and probity.
I fear I am on my soap box. Its just I feel as though I can't quite keep up with the world this fast. I look at the news and see people drowning in torrents of mud, politicians from all over the world talking nonsense, wars continuing which I cannot affect the outcome. Twittering, little tweets all over the world. Everything rushing so fast I can't keep up. Possibly this is because I am middle aged now and that is how I am supposed to feel. Even The Archers is covering issues that have nothing to do with farming for goodness sake. What is the world coming to......
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/archers/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/technology/2009
* I have put the link to The Archers as anyone reading from abroad will have absolutely no idea what I am talking about.
8 comments:
"Decisions made by faceless pen pushers so far detached from reality they have forgotten basic moral codes of decency."
Hear, Hear!
You echo my sentiments entirely.
Who cares if we're labelled middle aged, we're still entitled to be heard and we've still got votes that count!
Hi Achelois,
I agree with your observation about the onus being placed more on family. When I look around my area there is a problem generation coming through that has never been here before. The main protagonists are from what I would call "rough" families. That is to say the parents don't care and are very confrontational- just the other month one father was threatening a neighbour with a knife for example.
I think youth is in general more stressful now because so much is accessible. Maybe I have a nostalgic view of things but I am glad I had my youth when I did and would not like to be of this generation. Things have changed dramatically for the youth in a short space of time and it is difficult for parents to keep up with the changes which are constant. There is greater pressure put on their shoulders but they also have more rights than they ever had before which is not a good thing. What kept me on the straight and narrow when I was young was the fear of bringing the police or neighbours to the door knowing the consequences. A lot of kids don't bother about that today because their parents don't care either. But that is not to say there are not a lot of good kids as there are. Its just they are less noticable among the wrong doers.
Good post. I won't say anymore or I will be typing all day. I agree with all your points and its good to vent that frustation.
All the best
Nechtan
i dont think your being overly fussy with your kids. its the decent thing to do. my parents were the same, we knew the rules. one thing i wish that had of taught be a bit more of, is assertiveness. especially these past couple of years dealing with doctors. i think they always thought they are there doing their best. not that money plays a bit part, and those that shout loudest get heard, oh and persistance. and yet sometimes none of the above is enough.
well done for doing a good job with your kids, with the condition you have. xxxx
I agree with you and could comment on all your points. I have 2 boys 15 and 12. We have been the horrible parents apparently, strict, heavy on the idea of thinking about others, tolerance, personal responsibility etc. They don't go to every party and we have access to their email, FB. We have talked with them about sex, drugs, violence etc since they were little. So many kids don't get this from home. I'm not saying we haven't made mistakes but at least we try which is more than a lot of other parents. There seems to be a move to the "its everyone else's fault" mentality and parents wanting to be their kids friend rather than mentoring them and preparing them for life. When my youngest stood up alone for his friend who is asian and being bullied I decided we were doing something right. Sadly he was the only one, all the others just stood around and watched. That's a sad indictment on our community.
I agree with what you are saying.
In fact I often worry I say too much. So.
I also think that we need to well... for lack of room in this little white box (LOL) to dial the clock back so to speak- not in terms of women's rights, etc. but in umm...morals, decency, values, what am I saying here? You can read my mind right? :->
Thank you for your comments fellow bloggers.
You know, I don't think your values are "mundane" at all! My 9 year old only has access to one game site on the internet that my husband and I approved of together. We have blockers on all other sites. She doesn't have a cell phone or an ipod (but most of her friends do, I know at 9 and 10 years old, crazy.....) and we have old fashioned values of learning responsibility. I think it is up to her to be responsible for her own actions and we teach strongly against bullying! I feel sad for our youth no. They are faced with so much pressure, to be the best at anything now a days you have to start when you are tiny. If you want to ice skate you have to start little to do anything with it, if you want to go to medical school you have to start with internships when you are a young teenager. They are not allowed to just be kids. I hope to allow my kids to just be kids, and learn responsibility at the same time. Does that make me old fashioned? hahaha.
Oh my trusted Trish. Thankyou.
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