Teenagers! Whose the grown up?

Where did the years go I have wondered today. Looking back it seems like a moment ago that I was reading bedtime stories.... now its different. Don't get me wrong, neither of my children it seems are the rebellious sort so we have been lucky. My husband and I (that makes me sound like the queen) so I shall refer to other half as G from now. G and I were pretty rebellious and it seems that we have produced offspring who to all intense purposes never do anything outrageous. So when there is a fall out it hits me hard and today I had a fallout with eldest daughter. On the whole we muddle along, I am not the type of parent who particularly wants to be 'the best friend or a sister' but we do communicate, on occasion B says it makes a difference that we can talk. Well today we shouted and I am feeling flat as a result. B is efficient at playing one parent off against the other and sometimes it makes me really annoyed as I simply cannot understand why G cannot see when she is doing it. The end result means that he ends up being the darling daddy and I.... the mean, nasty bleep mum!!

I wish I was a teenager who could get away with emotional blackmail and then walk out of the door having said really really hurtful words with a nonchalance that seems practiced. I love my B so much which is why I guess harsh words and lost tempers have spoilt my day, I drove to a local beauty spot which thankfully on week days is a quiet retreat for locals. I sat in my car and I wept, not sobby tears just silently sat there with tears flowing salt stinging my skin. Not for myself but out of sheer frustration, as a parent all I really want is for my kids to be happy, healthy and if i am honest wealthy. Is that a bad thing?

In these situations G maddenly always remains cool and never ever loses his temper or in my opinion says what needs to be said, in order to avoid an argument. In all honesty I am still annoyed - I have asked G that when this tactic is played, that he refuses to have the conversation. It will blow over, I am a Leo and can't abide for a tiff to linger.

However, who am I really annoyed with, myself? B? or G? When the children were little we hoped that we are teaching them right from wrong, manners, etc... (and how to swear lol.....) Jokes aside, when they are adults so to speak it is much harder when they are deliberately nasty or rude. Is it my job now to let B know that there are consequences to treating people like shit... I think so. I have asked G again to try to look at the situation as if he were a third party looking in, in an an attempt for him to see the manipulative behaviour.

When my feelings are very very hurt I sleep, so I slept earlier and there was no supper cooked. I had no appetite and did not really like fish and chips so refused anything. Younger son was not in thankfully when stupid row occurred but knew I was upset. His sister had gone out without saying goodbye to me, although she did to G, which I always think is such a hurtful way of expressing oneself but understand it is teenage angst. He gave me some of his takeaway, by saying mum you should eat something but take it now before I change my mind!! He is 16.

I have felt sad all evening, out of proportion really to the row but sometimes the silliest of things make me sadder than they should. Perhaps I will delete this blog post tomorrow I am not sure. I suppose I am saying, no matter how much ones toddler is driving you mad they generally wake up in the morning after a bad day with a smile and kiss. Cherish that time, teenagers are not so forgiving....

Oh by the way in relation to the last post.... we went to the big garden show and I drank a little more than I should of scrumpy (cider from the farm) which meant I held G's hand like a giggly squiffy teenager and had a splendid time. I suppose the good thing about having teenagers is that they weren't there and I had no responsibilities for the day so could indulge in embarrassing holding hands behaviour in public and G and I could listen to music in the car on the way home (he was driving I was cider woman) that was really loud and in our opinion good! So life is not too bad really. See I told you I am the glass half full type.........

edited to add - I am not taking the moral highground here. I am pretty revolting when I get really annoyed and I did swear at said teenager and still don't care that I did that. So there...... humph.......

have edited this post after a 24 hr cool off period and taken out details of argument - too much information and in hindsight far too vitriolic.. hindsight is handy on occasion I think.