midweek

I am trying out a new colour it still seems a little insipid but hey ho I shall continue and see if I like it more or less on return visit. Which judging by the date of last post will be in a couple of weeks.

I think I am being incredibly dense as i wish to work out whether I can set up more than one google mail address as i don't want to use my personal one on blog. I am not sure why except I have a thing about privacy.

well today i have been looking at knitting books, having got through all the projects in my Usbourne get knitting - when I say get through I mean there is a lot of half finished useless objects lying around the house, some of which the dog is hoarding in his bed. I now know I want to make a patchwork blanket and it seems in this recession that ITV is getting the hang of it...... The woman whose name I can't remember with the curves and shoes, previously renowned from location location location is obviously making a packet out of pretending to make do and mend. She is having so much 'fun' travelling far and wide to blow glass, make her own pot, pinch from skips in her land rover and joy of joy sew herself a cushion. This is obviously her way of coping in these troubled times. What a class act, the house which I thought on beginning to watch the show was to be her family home is so not,no its a holiday home, linked to other lets of note for those that holiday in the lap of luxury. Now don't get me wrong I have no problem at all with other people having money, I am happy for them indeed; no the problem I have is this woman is somehow making out that all this is done to save money!!! Need i say more i could but I can't be bothered. i am so pleased i just managed to hit the capital button with my bendy little finger and instead of it dislocating for once it did the job yipee.. no i am not illiterate just doubled jointed.

Having had a break for pain relief and to move and stretch elst i become immobile, its called pacing for pain management. Decorator is arriving tomorrow (when I say decorator I mean friendly relation) which is a mixed blessing, its really late and I should be aslepp and they will be here early. Husband was to do it but has been struck low with costochondritis if i have spelt that correctly. He is very very stoic and apart from sudden visit to A&E with a suspected heart attack he has been diagnosed with severe costochondritis (for anyone who doesn't know this is inflammation of the cartlidge between the ribs) his is visible and immensly painful. Bizarrely I have had this on and off for years but thats another story as my ribs move around alot. Apart from this he also has a tooth infection so the Bank Holiday which he was to spend decorating was spent in agony. My OH is not work shy in fact I would say he is a work addict. Fortunately he works local to home and can work shorter hours to accomodate my care needs. He is a gardener and loves his work, he has also just had a birthday and you can guess how much as his favourite present from me was a book titled British Insects.... this love is handy as I am not keen on spiders yet he cradles them in his hands and gives them lovely homes further away from me! Anyhow I digress, he has as I have said stoically been working through the pain but is definitely not up to decorating. The whole house is in need and we are starting with daughter's bedroom, why I am not sure as she is not often here but when she is being a teenager I guess that her wails of woe regarding the state of decor are noticed the most and in the interests of harmony we are starting there. I have an obsession in my head that the walls should be lined before they are painted as a friend did this and the look was superior I think, in reality a lick of paint and get on with the next room would probably be best. So relative is arriving. Thank you. In my minds eye as a child I had always imagined that i would live as an adult in a white house with shutters and a verandah, i have always yearned for a verandah I even like the word, I like the way it sounds, the way it looks, despite the fact that I think I have spelt it incorrectly, everything about them. I would obviously be the old dear knitting in the rocking chair. However in reality I live in a pleasant village location in a three bedroomed housing association house. it used to be council but now it is apparently a non profit housing association. This must be why the rents are going up and up and up.... we worry that in five years time we will not be able to afford them. My children look as though they are never going to move out and if they do apparently my goddaughter will move straight in which I wouldn't mind in the least as I love her dearly but it seems that affordable housing is not so any more. The not for profit organisation has recently merged with another one and seems to be going for world domination! The officials that make the decisions however 'up top' have the swankiest offices ever. I am on my 11th email to try to get someone to come and look at the ceiling which is about to come down after a bizarre leak which has rendered the kitchen looking as though flood water has entered the property and gradually risen to include the ceilings with alarming cracks/ However the nameless official in charge just keeps going on holiday and apparently having been assured that the matter is being looked into three weeks later we are none the wiser. If we dare to stop paying a proportion of the rent however they will throw us out of the family home, something somewhere is going awry with the system. Don't get me wrong I am not looking for handouts no no no, just wish someone would do their job. Over the years had we bought I am sure we would be mortgage free however me being a crip and husband a self employed epileptic we are not very mortgage friendly. Despite all this I am grateful we live in a beautiful location and thank god for that.

This seems a long post for me today. The cat is having a case of needing to go in and out, he wants out when in and vice versa. Its mice time and having let him in once with an unwanted present I am reluctant to do so again but am worried his persistent miaowing will wake the neighbours. talking of cats the other one, mum of mouse murderer a grand old lady of 18 now had a near death experience last week and am pleased to say that now she seems hale and hearty. To cut a long story short some devil person threw red diesel all over her, a day at the vets, a bill we can ill afford and a very very distressed cat all is now well. No further comment on that one.

Despite the fact that I listen non stop to radio 4 I never seem to mention current affairs. I often wonder why apart from the fact that i am dreadful at names and when i say dreadful I mean it. I tend to rely on other half for this and actually unless the individual concerned is a very close relation or friend they have no hope of me remembering their name. So the neighbour over the road whom I have known for 20 years is referred to as the lady who lives a few doors up frm the people that breed spaniels, that sold to your mother and sister. The ex-policeman who had a terrible bike accident with the beautiful daughter who part owns his house, become thus. My husband knows who I am talking about and has given up trying to repeat their names to me in the vein hope that I will remember. So our conversations tend to be long winded.... this works well until I am on my own and any said neighbour waves a cheery hello and approaches me for a conversation and I start to perspire and grapple for some sort of suitable greeting which obviously means I need to avoid the fact that after twenty years I cannot remember their name. So to compensate I tend to compliment, I am quite a touchy feely person despite being somewhat of a social phobic so if you ever meet me and have met me before truly I will not be offended if you do not remember my name. Suffice to say there are of lot of 'thingys' in our street. I think this comes from living in a small village where for years my sister would say 'where are the parents' to which i would reply 'ooh they've gone to see Mr & Mrs Next Door or 'they have popped into see the woman with the lovely spaniel'. I also have difficulties remembering the way to places and unfortunately don't have a sat nav so along with a minor driving phobia this means that despite the fact that all my life apart from some forays out into the world when younger I have lived in the same beautiful part of this green and pleasant land, I never venture very far. It is quite brave of me to admit this here but the eminent professor of all things bendy apparently has recently said that it is a common trait amongst the bendy to have phobia's I suppose its time I came out on mine. i am not neurotic just a bit stuck in my ways. Funnily enough on a pain management course many years ago the psychologist put me at my ease on the driving thing, we got on reasonably well (bearing in mind she was paid to be there and often chatted when there was down time) I found her in her office trawling the net for directions to a meeting and she admitted she hated driving, her phobia not as severe as mine but nevertheless there. She said that basically God or whoever one believes in did not say and 'she must drive on motorways and large scary roundabouts'. I have felt so much better since then. it doesn't really limit my life as i am a complete home loving person and if we go further afield other half is happy to drive. So there we are me my day, my memory, my ideal house, etc... etc.... off I go to sleep again perchance to dream