Oh here goes.
I have been unable to post partly due to illness and also it seems I am suffering from a severe case of blog writers block!
Some things I have wanted to write I don't feel I should because they are to do with extended family members and although they will probably never read this blog anyway - its not fair that I should air my grievances publicly. Or should I say I would like to but morally feel its not a good move. So if I say - I have cried in sheer frustration, feel misunderstood and ill treated as a human being perhaps that will suffice. In reality I would like to vent my spleen and tell all as I feel my fellow bloggers would understand why I feel so aggrieved. But some things are better left unsaid I guess?
On life - one reason I haven't blogged is because I literally haven't had very much to say. Yes because I have been 'proper' poorly (aside from the usual EDS) and therefore have not been able to participate in the world for three weeks. Hopefully when my new car eventually arrives I will venture out but it still doesn't address the fact that I don't feel I do enough in my life anyhow.
I don't just have writers block, I have knitting block and it seems life block. Having EDS it seems to me minimilises my world. As BG blah@benefitscroungingscum mentioned recently in her blog - I also don't seem to achieve much of a day. I talk a lot to my kids and as they are teenagers that is good I guess. But I don't really socialise apart from the two good friends who always come and see me.
As a couple my other half and I seem to have got into the habit of not socialising at all, for years we have been happy just with each others company but I do wonder if this is healthy. Many of our friends from years ago seem not to have the lifestyle we agree with anymore (how boring) and yet a bit of me fears I may possibly suffer with a minor form of social phobia. Is it ok that I really don't mind enough that we don't socialise or that my life is not full of hobbies or activies. I am not sure.
So by way of displacement activity instead of blogging I have been adding more blogs to my reader and therefore on those that I comment have been commenting on those. In saying that I should update my blogroll but can't quite remember how. I hope I am not perceived as some kind of cyber stalker which truly I am not. I also stumble across bloggers commenting on these blogs whose blogs I also read (if that makes sense but in a way its reassuring).
There are a couple of people whose blogs I read that are very very down right now and it makes me wish I lived in numerous countries where I could be a proper friend who could provide practical help and TLC. You see at the present time if it weren't for my blogging world I think I would rarely speak to anyone outside of my immediate family.
I am not sure that this is a post of any note but it has broken the silence.
So if you are reading this I would like to say - I probably read your blog and would like to thank everyone whose blogs I read for helping me out. Sharing a little of your world helps me. So please keep blogging. Oh and if I do something vaguely interesting I will definitely post it here for who else would I have to tell!! Spelling mistakes 'n all as my spell check has disappeared.
